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 Hello! Here is a link to my storybook project.


(Ferdinand Leeke - The Mermaids, 1921. Source: Wikimedia)


Comments

  1. Hey Bailey,
    I read your introduction for the storybook.

    I really like your idea and I haven't seen a mermaid story from this class before. I like that you write your story about different types of mermaid. Melusines sound unique and interesting because they are freshwater mermaids. When people think of mermaids, they think that they live in the ocean, so this makes this type of mermaid unique. Is the Selkies freshwater mermaids too or is it ocean-based? Are the mermaids indistinguishable from regular humans when they transformed or do they have gills or scales? Can they breathe on land and do they have to hide their gills with a scarf or other types of clothing? I think adding a little bit of descriptions about the mermaids would add a little touch to the story.

    I like that you focused your story on the Bellerose family. The way you described them makes them sound evil and ruthless. I hope the mermaids take their revenge on them. Overall, I really like your idea and I hope you have fun writing your story.

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  2. Hi Bailey,
    My first reactions are that I LOVE the topic that you chose to write about, and the different images that you use on your page are really cool. I like how you showed pictures of mermaids because they are something that we are all familiar with (at least the idea of them), but as we see from your storybook, they can be portrayed very differently. I also really like how you followed one family throughout the storybook - it makes it easier for the reader to center and engage, and it provides a platform to bring much more depth into the stories while they overlap and interlace. Additionally, beginning chronologically and in a way that helps us to follow across generations eventually is a great idea. I am wondering: is the Bellerose family a real family? Or did you make them up? That would be very helpful to add into the introduction. Great work!

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  3. Hey Bailey!
    I really enjoyed the beginning of your storybook. I read both your introduction and the first episode of the Bellerose-saga, and I've really enjoyed it so far! Like Rachel said, I like the concept of following a family's history of interacting with one kind of supernatural being - the idea that there's something tying this family to this kind of entity is really imaginative. Your introduction seems pretty solid to me, I felt like I knew everything I needed to in order to start reading the rest of the stories.
    If you don't mind me commenting on the first episode, that of 'Melusina and the Duke', I'd just like to raise one thing that confused me a little bit. The detail at the end revealing that it was Satan who was guiding the fate of events all along was really evocative, really compelling, and heartbreaking. However, it felt a little bit like it came out of nowhere - I saw the connection between his influence on Jean-Luc's friends and the decisions that the Duke made. However, it doesn't seem like this connection is there in the story until you tell us about it. One bit of writing advice I've seen a lot is "show don't tell", so I wonder if there's a way that you could incorporate Satan's influence earlier in the story? Maybe you could hint at his presence somehow, make him felt even if you don't acknowledge him outright. He's certainly present in the subplot of the construction of the house, so I wonder if there's some way you could hint at his influence elsewhere as well, while retaining the kind of twist of fate that you have in the story right now.
    It's totally up to you and your decisions as the writer, so if this seems counter to what you have in mind, the main thing I wanted to point out was that as a reader it was a little confusing, so I'm sure if you have something else in mind there are more ways to work with it than what I alluded to.

    Overall, I really enjoyed the mermaid-world you've built - it's really fantastic. Looking forward to reading about the selkies!

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  4. Hi Bailey!

    Your storybook is such a good idea! I love mermaid stories, and I thought this was such a great concept! Reading through your storybook intro and the first story was fun. It was very well written, and I can't wait to read more! The images you've used really enhance the story experience. The mermaid pictures are so pretty, but the image of the cliffs in Melusina and the Duke are captivating, and really set the stage (so to speak). I really enjoyed going through your storybook!

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  5. Hi Bailey!
    I wanted to start off by saying that I love your topic of choice. I think it is a wonderful idea to write about mermaids. I am going to age myself and say that one of my favorite movies is Splash. I have always enjoyed tales about mermaids. The mythology has always been magical to me. I like that you wrote about the Melusina and how they can change form. The image of the cliff was scary yet captivating. Your introduction drew me in. From the details, I can tell that you are excited to write your storybook. I thought it was sad how Jean-Luc's friends were able to get into his head and make him doubt his wife. They seemed like a happy family and he was unable to keep one small promise. I wonder why Satan was pulling the strings. I am excited to read more of your stories.

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  6. Hi Bailey,
    I read the introduction for your storybook. Before reading your introduction, I never knew that there were different variations of mermaids. Therefore, I thought that it is very helpful that you included this information because if this information was omitted, the mention of these different variations of mermaids in the story would be confusing. Your information of the different variations of the mermaid were very detailed as well which really helps to identify the differences such as the difference between the typical mermaid compared the other variations which can shapeshift. Another important fact that I liked that you included was the origins of each variations such as that selkies are from Scottish folklore and that melusines are from continental European folklore. At the end of your introduction, the overall summary of your storybook is really nice as it explains the setting of your story very well. It also serves as a good guide of the stories to come.

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  7. Hey Bailey! First of all, I have to applaud you for being way ahead on this project and being almost done. I think it looks really great and I appreciate the artwork you chose for each page since it adds to the tone of the stories. I will definitely be taking notes for my own storybook. A suggestion that is probably dependent on personal preference would be to mention the source material you referenced in your introduction. This way the reader can have a better sense of where your ideas came from before starting the stories and may notice a connection between the stories going in. But again, that's entirely up to you obviously. I'm super excited to read your project again once you've added the last story and made the final touches! Good luck writing!

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  8. Bailey, my first question is: do mermaids ever wear shirts? I like how you're going for a theme with your storybook. Some of the more modern language at the end of the Melusina story hints at it, I think. The idea of following a single family's curse and obsession is pretty accurate for what happens in real life in my opinion. The sins of the father run deep. I thought it was out of left field when Jean-Luc made a deal with the devil, but it was almost in a good way. Maybe in your stories such magical things are commonplace. In the sentence that contains "'I wished to be alone,'" wouldn't Melusina say I wish to be alone? That's all I could really find for errors. Maybe I'm not even right about this being an error, though! I hope you write a story about a nice mermaid someday... Then again, I haven't read all of your stories yet, and Melusina was only doing what she thought was justified.

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  9. Hey Bailey,
    Interesting topic! I think mermaids are one of the most recognizable mythological characters out there and yet I never really see anything about them. I remember when I read some of the first recounts of sailors coming over to the Americas saying they saw beautiful mermaids in the water near the Caribbean. It is thought that they really saw manatees which I thought was pretty funny. I am not at all familiar with Melusinas or the Bellerose family or the original story but felt like I got a good grasp of it after reading your story. According to your note, you decided to stick close to the original story and I enjoyed it enough to the point where I plan on reading at some point in the future. I thought it was interesting that Satan had a role in all of this. Well done, looking forward to reading more

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  10. Hi Bailey!
    I am blown away by the detail and intricate story telling throughout your project. Its crazy to see someone already almost done! Your home page with its telling photo of the mermaids gives the reader an indication of what the storybook is going to be about without reading anything, so well done! The introduction is concise in telling the reader the contents of the project without spoiling the later readings. I think this is a fun way for the reader to learn about different types of mermaids. I personally never knew there was different kinds of mermaids, I only knew of the original. I think it is neat about the aspect that a family could have such a infatuation with mermaids, although it sad to hear that they basically enslaved them and did despicable acts to them in attempts to have children with them. I look forward to reading more of this story book in the future!

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  11. Hello Bailey!
    I had no idea there with this many kinds of mermaids!? I really enjoyed the intro and your first story, as there was a bit of historical reference to Scottish/French folkore and then a bit of geography with the cliffs of √Čtretat. It seems like you picked a pretty good topic to fork off into for three stories. Speaking of stories, in Melusina and the Duke where he looks through the keyhole, that made me audibly go "nooooo! you had one job!!" The second story made me chuckle a bit. Those poor kids were probably so confused! So, is the selkie skin kinda like a slip-on suit of sorts that they need to swim? What if the mom has a bit of remorse for her children or is shunned in her native waters? Can't wait for story #3!

    Side note: I've always been a fan of gaudy, gory, and nude art from Greco/Roman antiquity or the Renaissance so it's good to see someone else throw it in their project, haha!

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  12. Hi Bailey!
    I never really think about the fact that there is more than just one variation of mermaids, as we all kind of tend to just think of Ariel. Your introduction gives really good, brief descriptions of the three types of mermaids, even describing where they are commonly seen in stories. The idea of a whole family destined to fall in love with one of these creatures is a fascinating take. Mermaids are often well-known for being able to seduce men with their beautiful voices (often called Sirens when they do so). It is amazing what some men will do for what they believe to be true love, even depriving their lovers of their true homes. The origin story of the curse on the Bellerose family was captivating! Even though I knew Melusina was a mermaid, I still felt like I was on the edge of my seat when the Duke began to wonder what she did alone on Saturdays. Satan using Melusina as a decoy was a nice twist ending too, something I wasn't expecting at all! Excellent story and I can't wait to read the rest.

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  13. Hi Bailey!
    I'm excited to read your stories! So compliments to you that you had your reader coming back to see what happens to the Bellerose family! Setting the initial scene in Melusina and the Duke was magnificent and the picture really tied the introduction together. It was interesting that Jean-Luc did not chase after the mysterious woman after his first encounter time when he had gathered his strength. Although, through further reading I found that up to that point the Bellerose family did not have an irresistible lust for mermaids. The story took a wild turn when Satan came into play. I was shocked when he sold his soul away for a woman he a just barely met, that is unimaginable to me! I knew that Jean-Luc would break his vows somehow, and it went down just as I imagined. What a terrible consequence to have a unbreakable curse placed upon your family.

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  15. Hi Bailey!

    --Reading Goodman o' Bellerose--
    The introduction is great for both a reader who has read the previous story and for others who did not, because it reminds or tells the reader of the curse and the downfall of the family. This was an interesting story that went a totally different direction that I did not see. The main character that avoids his royal life and seeks a celibate life is unusual. It is funny to the reader that he did as the old woman said and jinxing himself.
    It could have been nice for the reader to be told what exactly a selkie is, I know it is a type of mermaid but there are so many variations. The authors note was helpful to show the original story had been intertwined with characters/families of your previous story. It was sad that the woman just up and left all her kids, but it was kind of ok in my eyes because she was essentially held hostage in a marriage.

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  16. Hey Bailey,
    I just read through your storybook and I am a massive fan! My girlfriend is a mermaid fangirl and, as a result, I have heard may mer-tales so I have really liked your story helping fill me in on some stories and details I was unaware of until this point that I can share with her! I particularly enjoy your employing of a centralized family, the Belleroses, as it helps proved a good framework around which one can build a story-telling strategy. One question I did have is why none of the Bellerose boys simply did not flee far inland to avoid the allure of the sea? Nicholas tried, but still managed to fall into the family curse because he strayed too close to the sea. It seems like a simple solution would be to move to Paris and call it good? I feel like that is one part of the plot which might need a little flex seal to patch up. A good excuse you may come up with is how the deal with the devil literally compelled them to the sea, all it would take is adding a line or two in each story saying something to that effect and it would fairly well plug those holes. Loved the stories!

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  17. Hi Bailey,
    I just read your story of "Melusina and the Duke" and I think it is a perfect introduction story to your storybook. It states how the Bellerose family got cursed to have obsession with mermaids. It also wraps up the story by having Jean-Luc died at the end from his deal with Satan. In the beginning, it reminds me of "The Little Mermaid" with the enchanting voice and the rich and handsome man. However, this was not the case because the story of Melusina is so much darker. Jean-Luc sacrificing his years for Satan to build his castle caught me off guard. I think it fits the story perfectly though. I like the descriptive writing of planting seeds of doubt and reaching full bloom. I don't have much suggestion to give you because I loved the story. It kind of sucked though that the Bellarose family got cursed because Jean-Luc saw the mermaid tail but he did broke a promise.

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  18. Hi Bailey!
    The image on your homepage is fantastic! Actually, all your images are fantastic! I had never heard of melusines before reading your Storybook! When I was reading your first story, the casual way you talked about Jean-Luc making a deal with Satan to build the castle and be wealthy was very funny to me. Selkies have always intrigued me as well. I think it would be quite terrifying to have to be reliant on something that is stolen so easily though. Although, you would think that if a man stole a selkie’s coat, she could just bash him over the head or something to get it back. That would be funny to me. I like your third story as well, where you used a female relative to tell multiple stories instead of talking about one story about one male member of the Bellerose family. This was a really great story!

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  19. Hey Bailey!
    I’m from the Indian Epic class, and I decided to see what the Myth and Folklore wrote because all your website titles were so intriguing. I think yours really stand out to me because it was about mermaids, and it reminds me of the show H2O or the movie, Aquamarine. I read “Melusina and the Duke” and I never heard of this story before, even though I’m French. So, it was interesting to read it and to learn more about my culture (,:
    You did a great job at picking your background images; they are pretty and fit the aesthetic of your website. Even little details like the police font you chose to write “mermaids” it’s really aesthetically pleasing. Your author’s note is concise and clear; I was not lost and got enough information to understand your story.
    Your website is also clear and easy to navigate.
    Thanks for your story!

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